(gray) Davis Said Yesterday That He Is

General Wesley Clark Commented On Gore Endorsing Howard Dean. He Said Endorsements Don't Win Elections. Hey, In This Country, Votes Don't Even Win Elections.

President Bush Went Out Touting His Economic Record In Ohio Last Week. Now This Is A State That Lost 225,000 Jobs Since Bush Took Office. You Know, If Bush Wants To Tout His Record, He Should Do It Somewhere Where The Bush Economy Has Actually Created Jobs, Like India, Or Thailand, Or China.

Now, Today Is The Day We Honor, Of Course, The Presidents, Ranging From George Washington, Who Couldn't Tell A Lie, To George Bush, Who Couldn't Tell The Truth, To Bill Clinton, Who Couldn't Tell The Difference.

Comedy Is The Only Profession Where Love From A Stranger Is Better Than Love From A Family Member. You Need To Perform For Strangers To See If You're Really Funny. If They Laugh And Cheer, It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

"i Am Not Just Another Notch On Your Belt?" She Asked Him. "of Course Not." He Said As He Put A Mark On The Chalkboard.