For Most Of My Career I Did

Crackpot Is An Excellent Job Because The Expectations Are So Low. No One Ever Tells Crackpots That They Should Be Doing More.

Every Credible Scientist On Earth Says Your Products Harm The Environment. I Recommend Paying Weasels To Write Articles Casting Doubt On The Data. Then Eat The Wrong Kind Of Foods And Hope You Die Before The Earth Does.

A Matador Is A Guy Who Didn't Have Enough People Skills To Be Promoted To Serial Killer.

Methods For Predicting The Future: 1) Read Horoscopes, Tea Leaves, Tarot Cards, Or Crystal Balls . . . Collectively Known As "nutty Methods;" 2) Put Well-researched Facts Into Sophisticated Computer . . . Commonly Referred To As "a Complete Waste Of Time."

Priority-wise, It Simply Makes Sense To Take Care Of Yourself Before You Start Searching For A Higher Meaning. You Aren't Much Good To Anyone Else If You're Unhealthy, A Financial Burden, Or An Emotional Basket Case. Fix Yourself Before You Turn Outward. It's Best For Everyone.