Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk-- Get Angry

When The President Decides Something On Monday, He Still Believes It On Wednesday - No Matter What Happened Tuesday.

Why Would We Go To War On Women? They Don't Have Any Oil.

When Meeting Royalty, It Is Very Important, No Matter How Excited You Are, Not To Vomit On Them. Instead, Vomit On The Nearest Commoner.

If I Ever Succumbed To The Demon On My Shoulder Going, "you Should Get Something Special Because You're Famous," That Is The Moment That My Behavior Will Be Caught On Social Media For All Time. I'm Even Afraid To Use It To Get A Reservation. This Is The Person Who Will Tweet, "can You Believe What This A-hole Did?"

Senator Kerry Does Not Support Our Troops. If He Had Won The Election, There Wouldn't Be Any Troops Left In Iraq. President Bush, On The Other Hand, Has Given Our Troops An Opportunity To Fight Without End. That's Creating Jobs. In Fact, The President's Policies Helped Create 104 More Job Openings Last Month. Now Who's Stupid, Senator?