As She Left My Room I Knew

Look, I Can't Go Out With You, Because... Because... Because I'm A Lesbian.

You're Fourteen Years Old. You've Only Had That Hair For Fourteen Years And You Want To Change It Already! How Bored Are You Going To Be With It By The Time You Are Thirty? What Color Will You Be Up To By Then?

I Put My Arm Around Her And Said, "jas, I Have Found That When You Are Troubled, It Is Often Better To Think Of Others Rather Than Yourself. I Think You Would Feel Much Better If You Got Me Some Milky Coffee And Jammy Dodgers And I Told You All About Me.

When We Did Eventually Get To The Party - Me Walking Next To Dad's Volvo Driving At Five Miles An Hour - I Had A Horrible Time. Everyone Laughed At First But Then More Or Less Ignored Me. In A Mood Of Defiant Stuffed Oliveness I Did Have A Dance By Myself But Things Kept Crashing To The Floor Around Me. The Host Asked If I Would Sit Down. I Had A Go At That But It Was Useless. In The End I Was At The Gate For About An Hour Before Dad Arrived.

Tom Is Back On A Flight At 6:15 P.m. That Is 6:15. Do You Get It? Not 6:00 P.m. But 6:15 P.m. And Do You Know How Many Minutes That Is? I Do. I Have Also Become A Time Lord.