America Is The New Roman Empire. Remember

In Stand-up It Really Helps To Play Yourself And Talk About Your Own Feelings. You Cannot Fail To Be Original If You're Just Talking About What You Think About X, Y And Z. Unless You've Got A Twin Brother Who's Also A Stand-up.

We Stole Countries With The Cunning Use Of Flags. Just Sail Around The World And Stick A Flag In. "i Claim India For Britain!" They're Going "you Can't Claim Us, We Live Here! Five Hundred Million Of Us!" "do You Have A Flag …? "no..." "well, If You Don't Have A Flag, Then You Can't Have A Country. Those Are The Rules... That I Just Made Up!

I'm An Action Transvestite Really, So It's Running, Jumping, Climbing Trees Putting On Make-up When You're Up There!

There's A Thing About Trying Too Hard, Which I Think Is In All Forms, Which Is If You Really Try To Do Things Really Well, You Can Get To A Less Good Place Than If You Just Let Go And Let It Fly. Especially In Creativity.

We Must Have Been Hunters And Gatherers But Some Of Us Were Just Waiters And Hopers.