A Grandparent Will Help You With Your

When They Told Me I Needed A Mastectomy, I Thought Of The Thousands Of Luncheons And Dinners I Had Attended Where They Slapped A Name Tag On My Left Bosom. I Always Smiled And Said, 'now, What Shall We Name The Other One?' That Would No Longer Be A Problem.

Before You Try To Keep Up With The Joneses, Be Sure They're Not Trying To Keep Up With You.

If Life Is A Bowl Of Cherries, What Am I Doing In The Pits?

In General My Children Refuse To Eat Anything That Hasn't Danced In Television.

I Do Not Participate In Any Sport With Ambulances At The Bottom Of The Hill.