List of Rob Sheffield Quotes

The Dilemma Of The Eighth-grade Dance Is That Boys And Girls Use Music In Different Ways. Girls Enjoy Music They Can Dance To, Music With Strong Vocals And Catchy Melodies. Boys, On The Other Hand, Enjoy Music They Can Improve By Making Up Filthy New Lyrics.

Sending Paris Hilton To Jail For Being The Most Loathed Celeprosy Lesion In The History Of The Species Seems Like A Happening Idea At First - Forty-five Days At Century Regional Detention Center Is So The New Thirty Days At Promises Malibu! But It Sets A Dangerous Precedent To Jail Celebs Just Because Someone Hates Them.

Ron Swanson Is More Than The Mvp Of The 'parks And Recreation' Squad, More Than Just The Funniest Character On Tv - He's The Perfect Depiction Of Aggrieved American Manhood At The Twilight Of The Empire.

Rebecca Black Might Sing Like A Robot, But That's Just Proof She Has Evolved Beyond Us. Her Vocal Is Just A Slightly Exaggerated Version Of The Robot Glitch-twitch Stutter That's Been Mainstream Pop Vocalese For The Past 10 Years Or So.

Our Amour Fou With 'the Sopranos' Is Headed For Long-term Parking, Like So Many Of Its Most Memorable Characters. We'll Never See A Show Like This Again.

On 'idol,' Steven Tyler Will Be Sitting At A Table With Two Other Judges, And Part Of His Job Will Be Keeping His Yap Zipped While They Talk. This Makes No Sense At All, Since Tyler Has Zero Yap-zipping Skills.

Most Of An Award-show Host's Job Is Showing Up And Keeping A Cool Head And Soldiering Through It, Whether It's The Oscars Or The Hallmark Channel's 'hero Dog Awards.'

Like Many Other Touchstones Of Twenty-first-century Pop Culture, 'the Sopranos' Was Hatched In The Late Nineties, Predicting A Future That Never Arrived. It Was Designed For A Decade That Would Be Just Like The Nineties, Except More So, In An America That Enjoyed Seeing Itself As Smarter And Braver And Freer Than Ever Before.

Just As Bowie, Zeppelin, Etc., Became Rock Stars By Remaking Themselves In The Image Of The California Girls, The Go-gos Became Rock Stars By Pretending To Be The Buzzcocks And The Sex Pistols. Jane Wiedlin Always Said Her Biggest Influence Was Growing Up In L.a. As A Bowie Girl.

Julia Louis-dreyfus Is Just Perfect In 'veep.' She Gets To Show Off The Spiky Claws Beneath Her Patrician Finesse. The Obvious Way To Play 'veep' Would Be To Make Louis-dreyfus A Folksy Heroine, One With More Common Sense Or Populist Heart Than Her Enemies. But She Isn't One.

It's Kind Of Amazing How Popular 'grey's Anatomy' Is. What Other Show Can Boast Such An Annoyingly Sincere Cast Of Doctors, Sniveling Through Such Perfunctory Love Triangles?

'so You Think You Can Dance' Comes On As A High-minded Leap Up The Evolutionary Ladder From Other Reality Shows - On This One, You're Supposed To Learn Something, And The Guest Judges Are Fellow Dance Professionals Rather Than Actual Celebrities.