List of George Burns Quotes

It's One Of The Old Show Business Axioms. No Matter How Successful You've Been, There's Always A Younger And Sexier Seal Coming Along.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.

I'm Onstage For An Hour.i Do An Hour Of Stand-up. Actually, I Do 10 Minutes Standing Up And 50 Minutes Sitting In A Chair. Oh, Occasionally, I Stand Up Again To Do A Dance Or Put Over A Song. But Mostly I Sit Down. A Great Invention, Sitting Down.

In What Other Business Can A Guy My Age Drink Martinis, Smoke Cigars And Sing? I Think All People Who Retire Ought To Go Into Show Business. I've Been Retired All My Life.

If You Stay In The Business Long Enough And Get To Be Old Enough, You Get To Be New Again.

I'd Rather Be A Flop At Show Business Than To Be A Success At Something I Didn't Like.

How Did I Ever Get Sick? I've Already Had Everything.

Joy Is Obtaining A Big, Loving, Caring Shut-knit Household In Yet Another Town.

What Actresses Do Today When They Appear On The Screen Is What They Did Once Upon A Time For Getting To Appear On The Screen.

Everyday Happiness Means You Can't Wait To Come Home, Because The Soup Is Hot.

When I Wasn't Working, I Put The Blame Directly Where It Belonged - I Blamed My Agent. When I Didn't Have An Agent, I Spent Time Looking For A New Agent So I Would Have Somebody To Blame.

If It's A Good Script I'll Do It. And If It's A Bad Script, And They Pay Me Enough, I'll Do It.